I knew we needed a vacation, but I didn't realize how badly we needed it until this week. It's only now, after unwinding for a few days in paradise, that I'm able to see the forest for the trees, so to speak. The last several months (years?) have been immensely stressful, and looking back, I'm not particularly proud of how we handled them. Our homesteading project really got the better of us there for awhile.
I was spending my days worried and anxious, and Tyler, who is perpetually convinced we can do anything, has been weary and defeatist about almost everything. We were worn so thin it felt like we had almost nothing left to give—to our relationship, to our families, to our friends, and to our projects.
Our lives have been revolving around mind-numbingly practical and boring things for far too long. Adhesive flashing. Water cisterns. Wooden railings. Ridge venting. Dear god, the thought of it makes me want to vomit. We even had an argument on the airplane about coming to Roatan in the first place… because it wasn't a financially sound decision.
I'm realizing now that we'd forgotten what it's like to have an adventure that is fun. Something to make us laugh and be silly together. Something that isn't about attending to our bare survival. After just a week of being on Roatan, things are already looking up. We've even been toying with the idea of changing our flights and staying for a month longer! We found a place with a decent internet connection, so we should be able to work from here just as well as we can from home.
Thank you Pete and Natasha for encouraging us to come here, and for making this whole thing happen!