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Picking Out A Faucet at 1:30AM

by Tara

This is our weird life right now. It's 1:30AM and Tyler is on a bug-slaughtering mission, swatting fiercely at the millions of insects large and small that populate the walls and ceiling of our camper. "Not over the—!" I say, a moment too late. "…cup of water". With a sigh, I inspect the vessel for slain intruders, note a few, and take a swig anyway.

With the massacre complete, we're now laying on the tiny bed inside our minuscule 8'x16' metal camper, tapping away at our computers, elbows touching. ("Scootch over a little." "No you."). Dark woods sounds fill the night air: The hooting of several owls. Wind blowing through the trees. The frenetic, incessant buzz of insects trying and failing to break through our screened window. All of this over the quiet white noise of our miniature USB-powered cooling fan.

Hard Drive Cooling Fan

We really should be sleeping, but instead we're picking out the faucet for our kitchen sink. It's fairly premature to be doing so, what with a seemingly endless list of tasks remaining on the house we are building. Even so, we're giddy and sleepy and in good moods, vaguely hopeful that we will, actually, for real, someday have a home to live in.

Back to faucets.

Tyler scrolls and I point, telling him to open the ones we like in separate tabs. (Tyler teases me because I always have 500 tabs open at once).

Who knew kitchen hardware was so freaking expensive?

We narrow down our options by price, and by the fact that Tyler wants a pull-out sprayer. I'm down with that. I want it to have an oil-rubbed bronze finish, something I didn't even know existed before I started researching windows and doors.

That one.
Bleughchchch... It's ugly.

We keep scrolling.

How about that one?
You like that?!

More scrolling...

Whoa, that looks like a vibrator!

We both crack up like junior high students in health class.

More scrolling...

That one looks like an evil robot!

More giggling.

Quite suddenly, Tyler ditches faucet shopping and pulls up the wikipedia article about the making of Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody." "What in god's name made you think of that?" I ask. "Dan's band is learning to play it. The song is insane!". He then proceeds to read the article aloud, which turns out to be pretty fascinating. Next, Tyler pulls it up on youtube and we sing-along, headbanging like we're in Wayne's World.

Eventually, the music is over, faucet shopping resumes, and we finally come to an agreement. It looks a little bit like a flower, or like someone with their thumb out, hoping to hitch a ride, but we like it.

Faucet Hardware

Houston, we have a faucet.